i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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