i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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