good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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