I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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