Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
