worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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