you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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