that's an acceptable place to lick
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize