A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
