bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
