I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
