those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize