i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
