I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
