I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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