he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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