he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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