Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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