So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What a dumb baby whore.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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