My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
