Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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