Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
