so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He better not be in your backpack
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
