i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
