3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
