I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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