The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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