Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There's even glitter on my cock...
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