you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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