Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
