Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
