I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
