Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i think i have herpe
just one?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
