I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
