you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
