I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
