When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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