We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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