i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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