weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
