it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
