People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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