if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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