it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
