1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
