Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
