his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize