I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
