your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
