You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
