Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
