so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
