My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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