we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
