official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
