My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
