The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
