This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
