we have pet lesbian snakes
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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