It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize