how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
