She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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